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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, April 3 2005, 06:44:11 #23935     Console quote contest

Please contribute funny quotes and insults.
You don't have to be a DRC member to earn points, anyone can participate.
These will be displayed in Quake. Quotes must be your own.
Person contributed most quotes/insults will get a DRC T-Shirt.
Here's what we have so far:

Wait! You lost your Huggies!
To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
I know you are here... I'm watching you.
Hello, this is God speaking...
Aim for the balls, aim for the balls!
OMFG You cheat!!!
What is your favourite hole?
If I had a grand... I'd bang 2 chicks at the same time!
Do it brother Beavis!
There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't.
Michael Jackson didn't molest those children, he made love to them.
Management is not responsible for lost or stolen virginity.
I'm the teenage girl you jerked off in the chatroom with.
If you think my tits are nice, you should see my ballz!
My dad can beat up your mom!
Hot dogs belong on buns!
Any neural system sufficiently complex to generate the axioms of arithmetic is too complex to be understood by itself.
Our radar has been jammed.
Thats it! I'm gonna pretend you are a man... A very beautiful man. With a perfect body. Whom I'd like to take to the movies.
Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
According to our records, you suck.
If you camp you will be castrated with a rusty nail clipper.
If you cheat I will personally rip off your head and shit down your neck.
There is no spoon! Did you eat those pills again?
There is no spoon. Someone sold you shitty marijuana.
Camping will result in getting ass-fucked by BUBBA!
How old are you? Damn.... Too late to make an abortion.
What are you looking at, ass munch!?
Your frag count is proportional to your I.Q.
Is it true that you take the short bus to work? Thats what I thought!
Unfuck yourself and start playing!
Just because you scratch it, doesn't mean you have to sniff it!
Your ass looks like about 150 pounds of chewed bubblegum, do you know that?
Is that true that your cousin fingered herself to death?
Throw a flag over her face and rail her for her country!
What's that whistling sound? Your head is perforated!
Knock Knock... Who's there? TELEFRAG BIATCH!
Campers, pitch your tents and fry marshmallows! Eat well before you die!
Were your parents related before they got married?
Server is laggy and settings suck? How about a box of crispy Shut the Fuck Up?
If you cheat I will shove your head up your ass and tell paramedics it was a birth defect.
Should I light your camp fire for you?
I've been blowing heads off since you where a nut-stain on your mamas drawers!
Campers will be shot... Survivors will be shot... Again!
Some people need an aimbot... You are one of those people.
How would you like to suck my balls?
Let's see if your gun is as quick as your mouth.
I'll rip you eye out of it's socket so you can watch me kick your ass!

Last edited by |DRC| Wartex on 7:36, Thursday Jun 16 2005; edited 6 times in total
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Sunday, April 3 2005, 12:04:54 #23941     

these are mine

from last night:
"rub it: if it shrinks its a nipple and if it grows its you're penis"

"if there's grass in the field play ball. if not, flip it over and play in the mud"

to be continued...
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Sunday, April 3 2005, 16:17:50 #23954     

If you shake it more than twice you're playing with it
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|DRC| Wang

Sunday, April 3 2005, 17:06:44 #23958     

-Dont move, I'll go get you a towel.
-Questions or Concerns? The can be filed at www.shut_the_fuck_up.com
-Have a coke and a smile!
-Would you like a hanky?
-Have you earned any stock in Kleenex yet?
-You were the load that should have been swallowed.
-Side effects may include stomach cramps and rectal leakage.
-I dont have a drinking problem, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down...no problem.
-Lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way.
-What's that smell? It's you're upper lip. No wonder you cant get layed.
-Welcome to alcatraz noob.
-You gonna eat your cornbread?
-That shit aint funny motherfucker, Stevie Wonder is a musical genious.
-Nigga Please!
-Michael Jackson is no more guilty than OJ.
-How about a nice bowl of Wendy's Chili!
-/rcon exec delete_retards.cfg
-Michael Jackson is the guy in the Chuckie Cheese costume.
-Rush Limbaugh is my supplier!
-Michael Jackson is set to play Diana Ross's body double in a sex scene in an upcoming movie.
-Miss Cleo told me that you'd be coming around that corner.
-Ask your parent permission before connecting.
-Round peg into the round hole, triangle peg into the triangle hole moron!
-Yeah, we gonna drop some bombs on these mothafuckaz.
-Would you like a donut pillow?
-If at first you dont succeed turn your computer off and go cry into your pillow.
-I know you ate my Cheetos, your fingers are orange!
-Marlboro, the breakfast of champions
-Only fluids, the doctor said.
-If at first you dont succeed, apply force.
-How can I shoot women and children? Easy, I dont lead them as much.
-You should have a hat with a propeller on top.
-Something about that shot that you dont understand?
-I'm not fat...I'm pregnant...with an elephant. Wanna see it's trunk?
-They call it cinderella fat, at midnight it all turns to dick.
-Dont you have to be 18 years old to buy this game?
-Take some midol with a glass of shut the fuck up.
-I'd love to show you how I did that, but first I'm gonna put my weiner in a meat grinder.
-If you're having sex with your girl and the dog comes up and licks your ass, is that considered a threesome?
-If you're feeling froggy, then jump.
-Dont you have homework to do?
-If the size of your car is inverse to the size of your penis then I should be driving a moped.
-Dont use a cannon to kill a mosquito.
-The line most computer nerds are most likely to hear from a girl..."I need some space". What they forget to say is..."without you in it".
-It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. But goddamn it must take a long time to get to england in a row boat.
-Change your tampon and quit crying.
-You're going to need a glass bellybutton to see after I shove your head up your ass.
-Put your hand in my pocket and you'll feel crazy. Keep going and you'll feel nuts.
-Never, ever share tube socks with another teenager. God only knows.
-Dont worry, your embarrassment will subside when your mother smacks you on the back of the head because you forgot to take the trash out.
-Money does'nt grow on trees, but if it did I'd live in the woods.
-Ever hear of a treadmill, round-boy?
-Come here, my red headed stepchild. Time for your medicine.
-If the doctor does'nt have to take x-rays to find out what's wrong with you, you need to get some sun.
-Go fly a kite, fairy.
-Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks *(may have been repeated)
-Come back when you can grow a beard.
-Is that a mustache or a high speed shock absorber for a cock sucker?
-Hahaha, your gibs remind me of a scat flick I saw one time.
-Think you can take me? Better pack a sack lunch and a flashlight son, you're gonna be here for a while.
-Would you like some cheese with that whine?
-Getting raped? Cooperate and it wont hurt as bad.
-You sure do got a pretty mouth on you.
-You're about as ugly as a sack full of assholes.
-Where you goin' city boy?
-That's about as worthless as a dog fucking a football.
-Watching you play is like watching a monkey do a math problem.
-That's nasty! You been eatin' corn again!?
-You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit.
-That shot was about as fucked up as a football bat.
-You'd rather jack off a Lion with a handfull of nails then to fuck with me.
-Wipe the protein deposits off your monitor before joining the game.
-Do you just like to read your own text, or what?
-Bolemia is a disease, you just do it for the similarities.
-Painting? Try brain-matter grey.
-You say Tomato. I say "suck me, beautiful".
-Wear a hat today, you would'nt want all the water in your head to freeze.
-hAvE yOu SeEn My BaSeBaLL?
-FrAnKs AnD bEaNs!!!
-I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of bears.
-Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid? Cause he was asking about you today.
-Go read a book.
-Dont worry, one day it will pop out and hang down like normal.
-Pretty soon you're gonna get hair in funny places and start thinking about girls.
-I want my twelve sided dice back!
-It is better to stand and look a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
-Flattery only works when trying to get in a woman's pants.
-Flatulance, no matter how amusing, is only funny to the person commiting it.
-The only people that claim to be sane are those that are insane.
-E=MC2 is the formula for a wifes hand relative to the back of her husband's head.
-Pope John Paul II has touched as many lives as his Cardinals have touched quire boys.
-Another headache? What, did someone ask you to fold a map?
-All large vehicles should come equipped with a rocket launcher and a crosshair for a hood ornament.
-I have to go, your mom is looking at me like a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Cookie.
-I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I cant manage to get my head that far up my ass.
-Marriage is like a 3 ring circus. Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
-How do you fight an enemy you cant see? Shave off all the hair, and apply the special shampoo for a week.
-Your birth was a federal offense. Retards are not allowed to fornicate.
-Why are you complaining about moving? Your house has wheels.
-Dont fuck with me, I'm white and my middle name is Wayne. ***
-Michael J. Fox should just do what I do, smoke a cigarette to counter-act the shakes.
-This is going to make an awesome demo!
-I'll make you famous Wink

[edited to consolidate all my posts, I figured it would be easier to keep track of that way. Especially since I'm kicking everyone's ass, lol]
I see Honesty and Greed fighting with lightsabers. Honesty is decapitated, and Greed takes a steamy piss on the dead body. -Wartex Maul 3:16-

Last edited by |DRC| Wang on 1:19, Saturday Apr 9 2005; edited 4 times in total
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Sunday, April 3 2005, 17:18:39 #23960     

Ever had duck sausage? No? They why don't you duck down and get you some!
46 and 2
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, April 3 2005, 21:16:07 #23974     

Your lips are as hard as my vacuum nozzle.
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|DRC| Wartex

Monday, April 4 2005, 07:46:06 #24006     

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Monday, April 4 2005, 10:07:15 #24008     

- Can't touch this
- Hooray for Dr.Zoidberg!!!

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|DRC| Wartex

Monday, April 4 2005, 14:02:11 #24014     

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, There's no end to what you can't do.
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Monday, April 4 2005, 14:40:51 #24018     

you're running in quake as a woman, do you fight also like that?


Monday, April 4 2005, 14:55:05 #24021     

it would make a sense if you are gaming only with girls...

so send me please the hunter-nude.pk2 skin Laughing

sorry.. i had to reply this one...

so... what next...

tomato... tomato... don't hide... ketchup
|DRC| Iceman

Monday, April 4 2005, 21:15:41 #24052     

- Nice Shot! For a n00b!
- Pull down your pants. Spank your monkey!
- Just because your getting ass fucked, doesn't mean I'm queer! :-p
- Steal my frag again bitch, and I'll fuck you up!
- Ahhhhh .....Nothing like a good gangbang!
- I love the smell of nepalm first thing in the morning.
- Great Job! I can count your frags on one hand!
- Damn, that looked like something my dead grandmother would have done.
- Thats right. Stand still, and wait for the server to kick your dumb ass!
- Your strafe like you shit yourself.
- Just because you get the weapons first, doesn't mean you know how to use them!
- Whats another name for your asshole? A black hole, considering the amount of rox I just stuffed up it!
- Imagine your most painful death. You should be thinking of me.
- Your aim is like your sex life. It sucks!
- Have you even budged from that chair all day? Your sweat marks say otherwise.
- You should quite and focus on something your good at.....and thats spanking it!

More To Come!
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|DRC| Wartex

Saturday, April 9 2005, 00:03:39 #24217     

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
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|DRC| Wang

Wednesday, April 13 2005, 17:43:16 #24450     

Is there a deadline?
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|DRC| Iceman

Thursday, April 14 2005, 05:24:52 #24464     

I sumitt to the almighty wang (insert bowing smiley here)
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Sunday, April 17 2005, 12:05:45 #24588     

"I haven't lost my mind; its backed up on disk somewhere."
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|DRC| Wartex

Tuesday, April 19 2005, 15:31:17 #24672     

With r_picmip 5 plasmagun shoots with tiles!
Vodka is just beer with quad damage.
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|DRC| Wang

Tuesday, April 19 2005, 22:51:57 #24709     

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Tuesday, April 19 2005, 23:54:36 #24714     

-The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
-Habit is a form of exercise.
-My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
-A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
-After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.
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Wednesday, April 20 2005, 00:24:22 #24715     

Anal sex is like hacking: you go through the backdoor and hope you don't meet a log.

(it's not original, but funny nonetheless)
graphical sigs are bad, mmkaythxkbye - the management
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|DRC| Wartex

Friday, April 22 2005, 16:55:32 #24791     

Camping is like masturbation: everyone does it but denies when accused of.
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Friday, April 22 2005, 17:22:36 #24793     

Howdy hey, I'm not gay, are you, aunt May? ROFL
In reallife I'm a perfectly sane person, I just like to make a fool out of myself to get some unwanted attention to get rid of.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 17:59:41 #26439     

Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying that anal sex is good because it works on all genders.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:01:11 #26440     

A mind is a terible thing to eat.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:02:20 #26441     

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:03:15 #26442     

This brain intentionally left blank.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:05:40 #26443     

You suck ass precisely as bad as you think you do.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:07:04 #26444     

Never play leapfrong with a unicorn.
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:09:06 #26445     

Note in the fortune cookie: "That cookie was expired."
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|DRC| Wartex

Sunday, June 12 2005, 18:10:35 #26446     

Force feedback monitor.
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Thursday, August 4 2005, 06:35:24 #27934     

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

... don't remember wher i foudn that. Is this thread still alive.. you guys have gought to have more. Smile
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|DRC| Wartex

Monday, August 8 2005, 16:27:37 #28029     

If someone licked your ass - don't relax, this is just for lubrication.

Observation: a screw, put it with a hammer, holds a lot better than a nail put in with a screwdriver.
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